Luke,
Make notes before the meeting, and during the meeting, if there is anything you want to discuss later with the assessor.
Try to catch the social worker before she comes into the house for a quick chat, and ask that after the assessment you can have another quick chat, as it’s disrespectful to discuss anything in front of Nan that might concern or distress her.
All I can say after that:
They listened, straight away could see signs.
Going to talk to consultant and make report before diagnosis. But yes it looks like she does have it’s but not confirmed yet:
He saw the signs from the first minute of seeing Her.
Hi Luke, you sound very relieved. Have they given you any idea of time before something happens?
Did they realise how difficult it was for you to care for her, especially as you are working full time?
She hasn’t been formally diagnosed yet, however the signs show she had it. The specialist nurse will compile a report and consult a consultant regarding his finding. But it’s clear she has some sort of dementia.
She made it quite clear to them that she doesn’t want to go into a home…
But now it seems like she don’t remember the guy coming,
He going to get in contact with me to either confirm his finding, ask for her to have a brain scan or to visit again.
He request a brain scan if needed but reluctant at the moment to do so.
Hi Luke,
Do you have Power of Attorney for your Nan, this means you can make best interest decisions on her behalf if she is no longer considered to have the mental capacity to make these decisions herself. If you don’t have this, then professionals involved in her care can hold a best interests meeting to discuss what would be best for her.
Both these roots could lead to her having care visits at home or going into a residential care home where she can receive the care she needs.
Melly1
Yes my self and aunt have applied so just waiting. Told it can be 10 weeks or longer especially with Covid.
At the moment she gets two carers four time’s a day.
Luke, if the level of care she is receiving isn’t enough, then the next step is residential care.
Did she understand about the POA when you applied?
Melly1
At the time of Applying yes. That was done in between hospital admissions 2 and 3. Not sure she would understand now memory has gone down since then.
So far the carers seem good with her. But I see how it goes. But if she making it clear she wants to stay at home, who are they going to listen too.
I hate to work and I do worry when I leave her even know I know the carers are fine with her. Especially her main carer.
But I am wondering sometimes do I give up working? Just to stop worrying?
No Luke, you need to work, it’s so difficult getting back into work once you give up, especially now, more than ever.
Nan is near the end of her life, and dementia is all part of a gradual slowdown of everything, a natural process that cannot be stopped, as it is for all of us.
You have so much life ahead of you.
Luke
Please don’t give up your work. It’s your future, sadly when your Nan is no longer with you.
This sounds harsh, but your Nans NEEDs will have to outweigh her WANTS. The last thing I imagined was my husband needing a nursing home, but very unfortunately he did. As did the other residents.
Hello again, Luke. I’ve been away from this Forum for a while, and today the first discussion I called up was yours. I have caught up with all the posts since last time.
Progress is being made. It sounds likely that your dear Nan will soon be diagnosed with dementia. When that is confirmed, paramedics, social workers and others will have official authority to act according to how dementia patients should be treated. You will start to get more help.
Try not to worry about things like Nan going into care against her wishes. Social workers know how to deal with these situations. Take things a step at a time.
I do feel for you having to cope with this but better times lie ahead for both of you. I’m glad that that crucial meeting is now over, despite the problems caused by the coronavirus.
And, as others have said, don’t give up your work.
Today Nan keeps saying to me if I am too much put me in a home.
But then the next minute she saying she don’t want to go in one…
Luke
Please try to put a barrier up from the negative things your Nan says. I understand it’s very hard truthfully I do. You must take one step at time, and remind yourself that all you do for her is for her well-being.
Today Nan was officially Diagnosed with Vascular Dementia.
I’m sorry to hear that, Luke, but it does mean she will now be able to get the right support.
Melly1
Luke, that is what you suspected, but it’s still devastating news.
Did they tell you what help and support they are now going to arrange for you?
On a practical level, it means she is now entitled to Attendance Allowance, if she wasn’t claiming it already.
She is also EXEMPT from Council Tax, be sure to arrange this, as the extra money saved can go towards her care.
Luke
I’m very sad to read the news. From details you have given in previous posts I’m not surprised.
You will be able to ( eventually) understand that her moods are not her fault.
I don’t know if you feel as I and my family did. Devastated, but we knew the cause of the change in my husband. Knowing not guessing helps.
Thinking of you.
She already gets attendance allowance.,
I haven’t seen anything on council website regarding council tax. I am awaiting the full report which has all the information inside.
This morning Nan shouting out about 4:30am nearly fallen out of bed. Her body in bed and legs out. If I didn’t help she would of fallen out. She says she don’t remember what happen. She obviously didn’t just nearly fall out she probably attempting to get up.
Gonna give her a month or two, get her 90th birthday out the way.
Then I think I might have to look at care homes.
With her being diagnosed with vascular dementia, does it make things easier now with social services regarding care homes. Or can they still say she can make that choice herself?
Luke, don’t delay, start investigating straight away. She is clearly going downhill fast. Good homes have long waiting lists. You need to search the Care Quality Commission for EMI Homes in your area, Elderly Mentally Infirm.
Have Social Services done a Carers Assessment for you? If not, ask for this urgently.