They didn’t listen to me when she was in hospital, will they listen now? Does her diagnosis change things?
She still keeps saying she wants to stay home. She even mentions it when we talking about a completely different topic.
She currently has 2 carers 4 times a day? They might turn around and say she has to manage with them?
How will I fund her care?
Luke, if nan needs care at home the council should do a financial assessment based on her income and savings. If she went into residential care they would consider the value of her home, if she owns it. However if her needs are very severe she might qualify for free NHS Continuing Healthcare. That is a postcode lottery I’m afraid. Do you know who owns her home? You might need to find somewhere else to live.
She had her hair done today with her friend who is a hairdresser at her home so that really perked her up. She seems to have good day and bad days l. Her home is housing association, I did ask about this a good while back before accident and dementia etc… and they said I can apply for succession.
That’s really good news. Can I suggest that you get this in writing asap?
That’s a good ideal I ask, I also have to notify social services of my nans demerits diagnosis. They have told the gp, but they won’t notify social services. I have to do that.
Sorry for slow replies at the moment. I seem to be having problems with the computer.
Don’t worry, you’ve got a lot to think about right now. I’m a touch typist, wrote a magazine for 20 years, so my replies only take a few seconds!
So just had power of attorneys come through. Why do they take so long! But I got await 3 more weeks in case someone objects which I know won’t happen. Then i got Another few weeks while bank process it. I think since Nan got out of hospital I spent about 4K on her because At the moment until POA goes through, i couldn’t get her money.
Do you think I could withdraw this money. Nan had mentioned I should, but do you think it’s right morally.
She had a visitor today obviously while I was at work. But I am not sure who. But she had a plant brought to her. She doesn’t remember who it was.
If her memory is that bad. Would that mean I could in act her POA for health and say she not fit to make decisions. Who makes that decision? Or does the dementia diagnosis already confirm this. Hope you understand what I mean…
With regard to her benefits and pension, you need to become her “Appointee” as I’m sure I’ve already mentioned. This is quick and easy, then you can legally manager her money.
Luke, how did you get on with the Housing Association?
Hello again, Luke. We haven’t heard for a while. How are things going?
I am really sorry it’s been over a month.
I had problems with my Mac computer, and although it was a simple fix, I just not got around to it until last week.
Situation is:
Nan is having good days and bad days memory wise with dementia. Still repeating herself.
Working with Occupational therapist who got my Nan a specialist chair, to also look at rehousing to a better suitable flat.
Discussion with family, is that we have parked the care home ideal at the moment. Because of Covid situation, and the fact she says she doesn’t want to go in one. Myself and family have Agreed that if she gets really bad or forgets who I am or them it will happen.
I can understand moving can be bad for dementia suffers but she complains she wants to use the bath. She can’t with her bad hip; council OT assessed our bathroom it’s too small to make any major adjustments too. So to give her that opportunity we going to see if we can rehouse her. OT has written a house needs report but even with that getting on the housing list takes time!
Sorry, it’s not that I been ignoring you all. My computer has been playing up. And because this forum on a iPhone screen is small, I don’t like using it unless In front of a screen.
It’s good to hear from you again, Luke. The Covid situation is making admission to care homes more tricky, so I quite understand how you feel. It is good that the family is getting involved in helping with decisions on what happens next. I hope that they are chipping in with practical help, and you have kept up your job.
Do please keep in touch.
Nan is in hospital.
About a hour or so ago I returned from work.
She was on the floor, got up without any help
She playing with chair remote so that seems to of thrown her out of the chair.
Make it clear that she needs a FULL assessment now, don’t let them send her straight home again!
It seems like they have come around to the care home ideal. I never suggested it, they did.
They going to talk to me in the next coming days. Needs to be observed more.
If they have and it goes ahead I am relieved
But I feel bad too.
I feel physically sick today.
My manager at my work has been really good.
Hi Luke,
mixed feelings are inevitable. Don’t feel bad, your Nan will have access to 24 hour care and you won’t be so exhausted. You can revert back to being her Grandson and not her carer.
Melly1
Luke, I supported my mum, housebound and disabled since about 1976. When she finally moved into long term care I could at last relax a bit, after years of hospital admissions often at night, but it took a long, long time before I totally recovered.
Nan should never have been discharged home in May, she is clearly very poorly now.
Try to go away somewhere for a few days for some self care.
We are here for you, keep in touch.