Mums S/W asked me to meet her at Mum’s nursing home Friday afternoon because of the constant obstructions the home were placing regarding Mum coming home, in particular she was bringing her superior after the home questioned our S/W judgement and placed a safeguarding concern about her.
I got there just before two and the Social Workers and Manager were sat round a table talking, I sat with Mum who was a little agitated, she knew they were talking about her. I calmed her and as usual she had my hand in a vice like grip.
Eventually the manager left and the Social Workers came over to talk to us: The Home are Claiming:
I upset Mum when I visit and cause her distress:
Concerns about me being alone in my own Mums bedroom:
They’d never seen Mum hold my hand before:
I barely visit.
They’ve also put in a complaint to the DWP about me claiming Carers Allowance, Obviously I’m not and I notified them when Mum went into a home and a quick phone call clarified that.
To me this has reached the point of disgusting, luckily our own S/W has witnessed the complete opposite and at one point Mum even claimed to be scared of the manager, i dread to think what he’s saying to her and both S/W acknowledged what Mum was saying.
We’re aiming at the 25th Feb for Mum coming home, but in the meantime I’m terrified, will I wake to a phone call saying Mum has fell out of bed and can’t come home. This Man is so dangerous I can’t wait for safeguarding to investigate him.
So sorry to hear this, Stephen. It’s cruel, unusual and full of unfounded, unsupported allegations and innuendo in my view. Please keep strong.
Stephen, don’t panic. It’s now utterly ridiculous, and with each further stupid allegation this man is just digging a huge hole for himself, what I call “Digging for Australia”!
So just think of this phrase, and keep a record of any other stupidity he indulges in. Clearly, he is totally unfit for the job, and I suspect that Social Services are rapidly coming to that conclusion too.
Thanks BB, it does feel like a personal attack against me now. I held up nine fingers to Mum and told her to start counting down the days until she’s home. She can’t wait.
Luckily Social Services are on my side, our own Social Worker knows that 99% of what they are saying are lies, and now her manager has witnessed this first hand I hope the L/A stop placing people in this home. The S/W manager told me to call the police if “HE” turns up at my house again, which I think at this stage he wouldn’t dare.
The thing that made me laugh is the claim that Mum never holds my hand and it was all for show, our S/W replied that in numerous visits she’d never seen Mum not gripping onto my hand. They also claimed we hadn’t given 28 days notice, I showed them the e-mail with auto-acknowledgment, as you said BB, they keep digging themselves in further with a constant flow of lies.
I just don’t understand what they are hoping to gain, it’s at the point where they are alienating Social Services out of stubbornness while the same Social Services have a safeguarding issue against the manager?
The sad thing is the majority of the staff are brilliant and friendly, its unfortunate one bad egg on top of the tree can bring the entire trunk down.
I was reminded of when I filed a safeguarding case against a care agency the LA used to care for my mother. At the meeting with social services, agency and me, the agency manager complained about my mother and my attitude. They did that to attempt to take scrutiny away from their actions and misdoings.
A similar thing appears to be going on in your case. You’ve highlighted many dubious practices and the carehome doesn’t like being brought to account: they could possibly lose business. The unfortunate thing is that the LA probably needs to have access to the carehome’s beds and will need to work with the carehome after your mother has vacated her room there…
Thanks Rosemary, I guess they try to hide their own inadequacies by placing the blame on others.
Luckily in my case, the home have told so many blatant lies that my S/W is just as desperate as me to get Mum away from there.
Had a lovely visit with Mum today and as usual the staff were wonderful.
I did find out a bit of a revelation today that shocked me to the core, I assumed the manager was just an aggressive employee, one of the first questions I was asked by the forum was about a family interest in the nursing home.
He actually bought the home outright in December for over 1 million with the help of an investment from a bank, there is a large article online in our local paper about it. It’s basically now his business and all the cheques written out go to the company he owns, No wonder he’s going door to door demanding money. With a 1.6 Million mortgage hanging over his head if the home doesn’t succeed.
Sadly his methods don’t work for me, 7 days and counting till Mum comes home.
Thanks for sharing. That’s interesting to know but in no way justifies his practices. He won’t last long at the rate he’s going. Do you have everything ready for your mother coming home to you? You deserve a day or two’s ‘rest’.
Cheers Rosemary, I’m waiting for Occupational Therapy to phone about delivery of all the equipment they recommended, I was hoping they would phone Monday but I’ll be sure to chase it up Tuesday if I hear nothing.
After lots of research I’ve been in touch with a carers agency whose base is literally 2 minutes away from me, the Manager was re-assuring. They can do 4 doubled up visits a day and even 5 if I’m struggling. They offer overnight visits if I’m really feeling down and out, but that will be last resort and we do have a spare room if this becomes neccesary.
I should be resting because as we all know, when Mum comes home it will be 24/7, 365 days a week. But I just feel re-invigorated at the moment. I guess that will soon wear off!
I feel like there is no end to this, today I’ve been e-mailed a £4000 invoice for March saying, despite plans for Mum to come home at the end of February the terms of the invoice mean it has to be paid on time and within four weeks of "notice of Mums departure day Mum will be refunded any money due.
I assume this now means that despite us giving notice on the 1st February and having proof they now intend to squeeze one last payment which we will never see again.
To be honest, I am tired at a time I should be working on Mum coming home. The dealings with this home and the con-man in charge have left me drained. Now they claim Mum owes them money again are the phone calls going to start again.
My initial response would be that, if you’ve given appropriate notice and you will be out before March, then I’d ignore the invoice and ,if necessary, to invite the manager to see me in court! Of course, it all depends on what the contract says.
Did the OT get back to you? You need to follow up with the OT and social services to ensure all is in place. Is everything sorted out re carer visits at home for your mother?
Don’t pay the invoice, send a copy to Social Services. After all, if you don’t pay, what can he do? He cannot evict mum as she will be gone anyhow!!
I suspect he is in deep financial trouble.
Thanks Rose, everything is in place from the OT, its being delivered on Monday and we have a care plan in place with a local company who after a few talks I thoroughly trust. Starting at 4 doubled up visits a day.
My Sister gave notice on the 1st February and gave the same advice, just reply and say that as notice was given, the invoice is null and void?
Social Services were copied in on the £4000 invoice, Mums Social worker who has been great, made it clear it wasn’t her job to get involved in financial affairs.
It IS her job to prevent a vulnerable adult from financial abuse!
I’m taking it that either your mother or the LA is going to be paying for the care age for your mother’s care at home?
Mum is fully self-funding and will continue to be so. I have an application to the Court of Protection with my Solicitor as advised for my own protection.
I’ve sent my Sister the e-mail for £4000 in the hope she will intervene, she is a Bulldog compared to me and our cowardly little bully might not pick on her like he does with me.
Out of interest, is £4000 normal for a 31 day month in the Midlands? It seems to be creeping up every month…I was told over £100 a day, were now at £130 a day???
Sorry to be a pain but I could really use some advice on this one.
I’ve been let down today by our new carers agency as in they can’t start until 4th March.
Obviously our plan was to get Mum home in February, not pay the March invoice as my Sister gave four weeks notice on 1st February, any legal action he threatens, see you in court.
The audacity of the place shows no bounds as my Sister has the auto-acknowledgment reply from the e-mail giving notice, yet they are denying receiving it. “Lets delete the e-mail and deny it exists” doesn’t cut it in 2019.
To get to the chase, I now have the 4 day shortfall that Mum is going to have to stay in the home, if I pay the full month I can guarantee my Mum will never see a penny back and this Man will be walking away with over £3,500 on a basis of bullying and lies. The invoice breaks down into daily rates, if I pay for 4 or maybe even 5 days just a sign of goodwill will he have any cause to take action?
To make one thing entirely clear, neither my Sister nor I have signed any form of contract, if they have forced Mum to sign a contract I am unaware of this and as she lacks mental capacity surely it would be null and void.
I can’t wait for this to be over, everytime I visit Mum I hold up the amount of fingers until she comes home, sadly now its going to go up by 4.
I wouldn’t pay anything in advance at all.
They are hardly going to evict her. I wouldn’t be in a rush to pay. Much depends on the contact, I would think.
Could you and sister manage without carers just for the 4 days?
I’m thinking it would be good to move Mum out I the arranged date.
Or use another agency just for those 4 days
If you could find someone else, that would eliminate the chances of being charged for an entire month, depending on the contract. Have you asked the intended agency if they were able to provide ANY care for the first few days, or come at slightly different times? Just a thought. It’s a great shame you’re in this predicament.